Tick-tock
I tried waking up late. Taking my time in the shower. Talking to Sunshine. Did loads of channel surfing. Chewed my lunch at an extremely slow speed- The kind that will put the snails to shame. And its just 12.37 pm. Geesh will it kill to speed time up a little? I have no idea what to do next.
I know I'm being extremely stupid by remaining hopeful. But I think its worth it. I know there's lots of fish out in the water sweetheart. Thank you for reiterating that point for the hundredth time. But that's not I want. It's as simple as that.
I'm naughty? Shouldn't I have already passed that whole naughty stage?!
I have no idea what's wrong with my family. I haven't been up to anything naughty!

I lied when I said I was okay with us being this close. I knew it was going to affect our relationship somehow. And I was right. Don't get me wrong babe. I love you. But I'm more than happy to welcome the new phase of our lives that we are gonna embark on.

I’m bored

My throat's hurting really bad! I'm drinking lots of honey water. It's much better than the vile suspension my mother used to give me.
I can't believe it's only Tuesday!! I think I'll go visit my babies later. I kinda miss them.
I love my new, electric blue shorts! I'm glad my sister talked me into buying it.
I give nothing but monotonous answers and people are still interested in talking to me! I don't get it. Doesn't that already scream how uninterested I am!!
I just realized. Everything's so random. Hah.

Little bit brighter

I went to watch the Harry Potter movie yesterday. Not bad. Or maybe it was because I wasn't expecting much since I fell asleep during the last Harry Potter movie. That was hilarious. I thought I was the only one feeling sleepy but Rabeeah and LiMeng looked equally zonked out.
I'm getting used to the way things are now. It's becoming easier. Time does help. That void in my life is becoming progressively smaller. Or so I would like to think so. Yes there's still the occasional tears and there's a whole lot that I miss but I guess that's the way things are. I can't spend the rest of my life moping about something that's beyond my control. It just doesn't make sense. I think I HAVE become emotionally stronger. Haha.
There's a monkey walking around my estate. Serious. But I have yet to see it!

Little Miss Sunshine?

I dunno whether I should. Or maybe i shouldn't? I want to but and the same time I don't want to. I'm wondering what it'll be like. Awkward? Comfortable? A good mix of both?
I have successfully confused myself. Yet again.

Its raining.

Crying is kinda therapeutic! I never realised that. In this two weeks, I'm gonna try and get everything out of my system. And when school starts, no more damp pillows for me. I am sad and I will be for a long time. But I'll get over it. Or atleast never think about it again. I wish..
I melted plastic in the oven yesterday and I didn't even realize it. I'm not going into details. I have no idea what the hell I was thinking about when I put the plastic container in.
My leg is aching! I can't seem to walk properly. I suspect its something to do with the ball game yesterday.

Out I go!

I have always liked being alone. But now I just don't want to be alone at all. I'm grabbing any opportunity to get out of the house. And for once, I don't want to take my phone with me. That's definitely a first!
I wish school would begin faster. I need something to keep my mind occupied.

Your physical appearance isn't what you want it to be now, but you can change that. Rocking chairs and porches are fun, but there comes a time when you have to get off your duff and in the mix. Stir up your social life. Mingle with all types. Old flames could rekindle, or new sparks could ignite.You find kids considerably more intriguing than usual -- though that's not to say you're ready for your own! It's a good time to play with nieces or nephews or just watch kids playing in the street.
And that's supposed to be my horoscope reading for the day? I have no idea what to make of it. hah.

Raindrops keep falling on my head.

Time to say goodbye

Friday was my last day at work. I can't believe that was really my last last day! I still remember how I took up this job just to pass time until I found another job. Funny how every time I wanted to leave, I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Sure it was tough and the pay did not justify the shit I had to deal with. But it a way, the whole experience was fulfilling. Very fulfilling. One thing's for sure, my patience has improved tremendously. I usually like things done chop chop. I used to get really irritated when the children took half an hour to nibble their biscuits. But now, I can deal with waiting. Just don't make me wait too long! I used to wrinkle up my nose at children who crap their pants and I cannot bear touching vomit. Now, I reach out instinctively when they want to throw up. Yup right into my cupped hands. I think when you genuinely love a person; you just love them, flaws and all. You love them even when they're covered in puke from head to toe. I love each and every one of them. And I'll miss them like hell.

My grandmother's in the hospital. I don't really like her but I went to visit her nonetheless. To my surprise, I found myself stroking her hair and trying my best to ease her pain. I didn't know I had it in me since she said a lot of hurtful stuff all my life. Just because I appear nonchalant, it does not mean that I'm not hurt. Sometimes, I just desperately wish she'll love me.

I'm getting irritated with romance novels. It's all the same- unrealistic and clinched. Either that or I'm just unromantic

I miss you. But big girls don't cry yes?

Yup
Surprisingly, I didn't feel the least bit sad today! I was just really happy in fact. I guess I'll just stick with the way things are. Atleast for now. We'll see how things go.

I hate feeling disappointed. I look forward to something, sometimes with so much fervor and enthusiasm that it surprises me. And when it doesn't exactly materialize, I hit rock bottom. I don't understand why I'm putting myself through this. Then again, I don't understand anything.
Chinese lessons are fun and I'm starting to look forward to them! I’m glad they decided to change the teacher. Looks like I still have something to look forward to.

Me myself and I

I feel weird
I feel really weird. I can't find the right word to describe how I feel. So I'm settling for something ambiguous. Yup. That's it. I feel weird.

I'm gonna be fine!

Leave me alone please.
I wish everyone would just stop poking their nose into why I have been uncommunicative. What's wrong if I don't feel like talking once in awhile? And I really wish my mum would get off my back. If I'm not hungry, quit forcing me to eat. Geesh.
It's another long day at work tomorrow. I volunteered to cover Ifah. Yes I know. I volunteered. Just thought it'll beat staying at home and idling away. But once again everyone thinks I’m trying to work myself to death. An 11 hour shift is no biggie. I'm not even tired. I wish I was though.

OUCH!
I just got scratched by my cat. ( It's not technically my cat actually. We feed it and it sleeps on my doorstep but that's about it.) Major ouch man. I felt like my finger got sliced. Never liked cats! Hhmph.
I feel like going on a holiday. Just a few days out of town. But i'm not sure if anyone's up for it. Oh well.