It's weird how things turn out. What you expect never happens and what you were positive will NEVER EVER EVER happen, happens. I had nothing to lose and I secretly thought I had nothing to gain as well.Boy, wasn't I wrong! I am just glad I did what I did. I have never been happier.

I hate routines! And I am finding it difficult trying to fall into this one. I like order and all but I am finding this is a bit too much. School was supposed to be somewhat a routine but strangely I didn't feel that way at all. Things were fine the first few weeks but now I am in need of a change. A desperate change. I mean my job's pretty cool and stuff but I guess there's just so much more I want and need to see.
I forgive and forget too easily? I don't know about the forgiving part but I don't think I forget that easily. I haven't forgotten any particularly significant incident. I don't forget. I just don't talk about it. I don't see the need to.

I'm the biggest worrywart ever. Those sleepless nights are here to stay.

Why do I get so upset over stupid and yes even insignificant things? Honestly, I don't care who you're going out with or who you're attached to. I think im just a little upset over the fact that you lied. But im way upset over something else. And I you know damn well what it is. Sigh. Im way over it now.
Every time, I think of the damn A level results, I get this really nauseous feeling. Sigh. I don't want to retake the A's again. I will just die! I think it's the cruelest form of torture ever. Please God, have some mercy!

It's all about taking chances huh? What happens if you are wrong? Or better still, how would you ever know if you are right?
Im dead bored.

Its no game but its starting to sound like one.

I love my job! Everyday's a surprise- from the brilliantly engineered lies as to who punched who to the random hugs and kisses. I actually feel loved by total strangers. It's an amazing feeling. I love being around them. They aren't pretentious; they don't judge you and they love you for who you are. Of course there are the downsides to the job as well. It pains me to see the autistic kids struggle. Half the time I feel like running over to hug them, assure them that things are going be okay. The sad truth- life will always be more of a struggle for them than it is for us.

I love you.

Im gonna play safe and keep my distance. Why get my little head all muddled up yet again? I dont need this and neither do you. So its settled! Besties we shall not be!

2007. Finally. A whole new beginning. No more lugging around emotional baggage- kicked it all right out of the door. No more hanging onto friends who dont give a shit about me. No more feeing sorry for myself. No more hiding behind lies made up by yours truly.
No more pretending or rather trying to pretend im someone else- someone with a nice picture perfect life.
Ahh.. Im liking the new year already. I feel so much lighter and so much happier!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!