The Good Old Days
These are just some of the photos I found while looking for photos for Siva Annah's wedding reception.
My Birthday.
At the Zoo.
Dawn and Siva Annah
Haarveen and me. I was a little retarded back then too.
Siva Annah. Me. Dinesh. Haarv. Nantha Annah
I think we were at Terengganu.
I remember this oh so damn well! I was having a cold. So I wasn't allowed to have anything. BUT my dear mum made sure they had a constant supply of coke as well as ice cream! Grrr...
Keshini
Random nothings
1) I'm beyond pissed. Especially when I had to wait three and a half hours (Yes THREE AND A HALF HOURS) for an ass who decides a minute before I meet him that he's actually feeling kinda tired. Grrrr.. I could have used that time to sleep! THREE AND A HALF HOURS of sleep would have done me good! Oh and did I mention that meeting up was his idea in the first place.
2) I swore 11 times today. That's a record for me. Since I hardly swear much.
3) My hair is destined to remain the way it is- Boring.
4) I spent an hour in Vivo and 45 Minutes in Tekka. All alone. Yea I know I am a loser.
5) I went to school for a mere half an hour.
Testing 1-2-3
I miss the kiddies at the centre. I miss knowing what its like to have sisters- Sisters whom I can share the most intimate details of my life with. I miss seeing home as something more than a lodge. I miss my secret cupboard space. I miss my ugly BUT comfortable blue jeans. I miss playing the piano. I miss my labels. I miss trying. I miss me. Yea. I miss me.
I wanna run away!
Retail therapy didn't work. Neither did the chocolates. Nor the sleep. Gah. I hate school! I'm considering running away and joining the circus!
RIP Heath Ledger.
I fell
Expectations set you up for the biggest fall ever. And its difficult to walk away from that fall unscathed. Very difficult. But it is equally diffcult to declare that you have no expectations whatsoever. Cause in truth, everyone has expectations. Be it conscious or unconscious. I am not doing the right thing am I?
Everything about nothing
School starts on Monday.
I had a fall out with my sister.
And to top it all off, I am STILL very much confused.
I am not being fair. Yes I know. And I'm not particularly comfortable with that. Everyone deserves a chance. But I don't want to take that chance. I don't want to take any more chances actually.
A walk to remember
I can turn and run the other direction right now. But I'm not going to. I am scared. Sure. But then again who isn't?
I need some pushing!
I should run. Right about now actually. But my butt's glued to the couch. I can't move. Or rather I don't want to. I'm fine with being pudgy! I think. Atleast til I realise how flabby my arms are. Gah.
Phenomenal Woman
Pretty women wonder where my secret lies
I’m not cute or built to suit a model’s fashion size
But when I start to tell them
They think I’m telling lies.
I say
It’s in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips
The stride of my steps
The curl of my lips.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That’s me.
I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please
And to a man
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees
Then they swarm around me
A hive of honey bees.
I say
It’s the fire in my eyes
And the flash of my teeth
The swing of my waist
And the joy in my feet.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That’s me.
Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me
They try so much
But they can’t touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can’t see.
I say
It’s in the arch of my back
The sun of my smile
The ride of my breasts
The grace of my style.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That’s me.
Now you understand
Just why my head’s not bowed
I don’t shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say
It’s in the click of my heels
The bend of my hair
The palm of my hand
The need for my care.
‘Cause I’m a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That’s me.
Maya Angelou
I just love this piece! Beautiful ain't it?
All over again
And so 2007 is about to come to an end. I must say the year passed by pretty fast. Yet 2007 has been one of my more eventful years.
I discovered aspects of myself that I never knew about.
I started school.
I realised how much I love children.
I worked for the first time in my life.
I learnt about relationships- how they work, how I wanted them to work and how they actually work.
I faced my deepest fears head-on.
Star gazing by the beach was an amazing experience.
I learnt to accept things as they were.
I cried lots.
I learnt to be grateful.
I lied. And I'm not exactly proud of that.
I learnt to let things go.
Sunshine is now hot-dog.
I learnt to forgive.
I opened up to someone I hardly knew. That still surprises me.
I learnt to believe in myself.
Spirit week was embarassing yet memorable. I love my red soccer socks. Now all I need is another chance to wear it!
I changed my mind a gazillion times.
I considered getting a piercing and a tattoo.
Meowy became an unofficial part of our family.
I made tons of new friends.
I did something I usually would have never considered doing.
Well I guess that pretty much sums up 2007. It has been a year of bittersweet moments. Yes a year of my bittersweet moments. I can't wait for 2008! An entire new year. 365 more days of bittersweet experiences. I don't usually believe in new year resolutions. But for 2008 I hope I learn to be a better person.
Happy New Year everybody!
Blood's thicker than water huh?
I hate extended family gatherings. I hate having to sit in one corner with a plastic smile plastered on my face. Not that I am the only one doing the whole plastic act. I hate not being able to be myself. I hate having to associate with people I don't have a single thing in common with. I hate having to restrain myself from saying the wrong things. I hate how everything I say or do is being judged. The only reason we're family is because we don't have much of a choice. Other than that, there's nothing binding us. Nothing at all.
I miss you dude. Sigh. Funny how I still think of you after all these years. Oh well. I just hope all is well with you. Much love my dear friend.
Rudolph the red nose reindeer
I'm pretty sure I can pass off as Rudolph now with all the trauma my poor nose has gone through. Days before Christmas and I have to fall sick!! The only good thing that has come out of falling ill is not being able to go to Jb! =)
Yesterday's magic show was brilliant. It was meant for the kids but I think I was the one who was in awe half the time!
Merry Christmas!
=/
I can't possibly be having a mid-life crisis now can I? Nah. I think terming it my quarter life- crisis woud be more appropriate. Yes that's it! I'm having a quarter-life crisis. Gah.
You know I would really like to talk to a stranger right about now. Don't ask. We'll just dismiss it as being part of my quarter-life crisis.
Haarveen's Birthday!
And so yes, Haarveen's finally 18! Finally. 
Haarveen can never keep her eyes open for long. I really don't know why!
The yummy tapas
I should be shot!
Haarveen's right. I should be shot dead. Hitler stlyle.
And here's why. More reasons to add to the already never ending list.
1) Today, while walking through town, I got really irritated with the old woman in front of me who was walking at an excruciating slow pace. I should be shot yes? She was an OLD woman who probably had trouble walking.
2) I am self-centered.
3) I am a bad sister. Just ask Keshini. She'll agree on that.
There's more but I'll stop here. I shouldn't give Haarveen more reasons to prove her point!
Boundaries don't keep other people out. They fence you in. Life is messy. That's how we are made. And so you can waste your life drawing lines or you can live your life crossing them.
Meredith Grey
Grey's Anatomy
I feel like I have wasted a hell lot of time keeping people out. I have missed out on so much with all the lines that I have drawn. I don't think I'll ever know what's it like to have a best friend- the kind that every other person has (not my definition of one). I don't think I have ever ventured into my intimate thoughts with anyone. I don't think I'll know what it is like to be downright honest with what I feel or think. I'm terribly afraid of people being up close. I don't quite know why. I guess I just feel safer that way.
All Love
I feel like Aunt Agony. No really. Funny how I can never sort out my own issues then. I'm not sure if I would like to take the risk and put myself out there again. And about my initial plan to keep my distance? Well, let's just say that's not going too well. Gah. And it doesn't help that there's something else bugging me on top of all this. I don't wanna have to compromise on anything and I feel like I cannot keep up with any of this anymore. I'm gonna do the usual. One thing at a time. We'll see. Or maybe not.
I met Rabeeah on Tuesday after AGES. Lots of love, shopping and gossip! =)
I hate them all, sun-kissed or not!
Lately, I have developed this strong dislike towards raisins! And for some strange reason I have been seeing raisins just about everywhere. Just two days ago, the kid beside me was munching on raisins. Goodness knows how he managed to stuff the entire handful of that shrivelled up grapes into his mouth. Yesterday, I found raisins in my chocolate cake! Who in the right mind puts raisins in chocolate cakes?! And today I found raisins in my bread (I somehow managed to overlook the fact that it was a raisin loaf BUT that's besides the point) and the only chocolate bar around had raisins in it!
Hurry home Bunny!
Rani. Dad. Mum. Me
I miss Ranitha. It's pretty weird cause she just left. =(
I didn't think I'll miss her this much. But I guess I'm way too used to talking to her everyday or atleast every other day. I feel like I need to pick up the phone and tell her something absolutely random now. I have so much to say, so much to complain and to whine about. I want to talk about senseless garb. I want to hear about men and their ways. I want to discuss our dreams- both hers and mine. I want to talk about clothes, shoes and bags. I want to bitch about anyone and everything. I want to make plans. I want to fantasize about my future. Our future.
My cousin and one of my best friends. 19 years and counting. =)
Sorry Weber =(
I dont think I'm gonna be able to get that A after today's paper. It was pretty alright but I feel like I screwed it up. Oh well.
And so much for the much anticipated CHEESECAKE FEST! =/
If I get that A, its because of Weber!
Just as I was planning to forget about soci and sleep, a van drives pass me. It had Weber's name on it!!! No kidding. It's a sign from Weber himself! I'm pretty sure about that. LOL.
In circles
I enjoyed the walk. Despite the fact that I was alone. Despite the fact that I only walked around my estate.
3 more to go. But 3 consecutive papers. Oh god. I think I am gonna need divine intervention!
Choose
The single clenched fist lifted and ready,
Or the open hand held out and waiting.
Choose: For we meet by one or the other.
Carl Sandburg
I CANT WAIT FOR SATURDAY!!
Theatre Studies was BAD! -shakes head-
But at least, part 1 of my 5 part liberation series is over. Now just 4 more to go! I'm off to study political science. Gah!
Saturday's the day of my liberation! I cant wait!!!!
Dear God,
Please help me see the purpose of You putting me through all of this. Not very fair is it? I'm not complaining. It's just that I feel like I'm beginning to lose my sanity.
Love,
Thulasi
Over and done with
I have a couple of things on my mind. The first being the bloody exams of course. Which I haven't really studied for! Which would mean that I'm pretty screwed!
And then there's my grandmother who's worrying the hell out of me. I dont think you can call what she's suffering from dementia or suggest that she's senile. I dont quite know what's wrong with her actually. We're bringing her to the doctor tomorrow. Hopefully that enlightens us all on what's going on. It pains me to see her looking so terribly distressed and frustrated. I don't know how to help her either. How exactly am I to find her the house that isn't there or show her the path that doesn't exist?
I love my grandmother. I think she's the only one who actually understands me completely (though we may have some issues with language at times). She reads me like a book. No really. She knows when I'm down. All the time. And this is when I don't show any visible signs of feeling down. She's my source of comfort. I'm just terribly afraid at the moment.
I think I'm gonna stick to being nonchalent. It suits me best. Emotions and getting myself emotionally tangled in some mess just doesn't work for me. I like my heart and brain in whole.
That's Life with a capital "L"
And finally Theatre Practical is over!!! About time. I must say I am pretty relieved. We did a good job. Everyone was just great! But I had to screw up the Q&A section. Darn. I didnt see the bloody question coming. Grrr. Oh well. It's all over now. I'll miss my TS group mates though. =(
Photos! ( Centre Visit, Spirit Week and Diwali)
I love Joy to bits! Man. I wish her parents would let me have her!
Picture Perfect
It was awkward. I guess I have pretty much grown used to the way things are or will be. The little things I look forward to each day have changed. My pirorities have changed. My needs have changed. I never realised that. Til today. It's not that I love you any less or that I have moved on. It's just that I feel like I'm a different person altogether. As to what that means, I really have no idea. One thing at a time. We'll see.
If I had the chance
It's Diwali. I'm supposed to be stuffing myself with food. But for some reason I feel BLUE.
I don't understand how I managed to overlook what you wanted. I guess I was too caught up with worrying about what I wanted. As usual. It's always about me isn't it? I don't even bother thinking about what others want. Yes I am pretty much spoiled. And no I'm not proud of it.
I really don't know why I try so hard to make peace with you. Maybe its because you matter. Even though I have always refused to acknowledge that. Oh well.
Spell things out for me. Clearly if you don't mind. I really have no idea what you want from me.
Three separate issues. 1 muddled up Thulasi. And lots of food.
-Shakes head-
Men
They're starting to get to me!
There are those who cannot take no for an answer. There are those who mess with your mind. There are those who rub you the wrong way. Yes literally as well. There are those who insist you HAVE to give them your number and will bug you endlessly for it.
No simply means NO! Men just don't get it huh? Hah.
Laa dee da
Distraction. Yea that's it. A mere distraction. But with regards to clammy palms, racing hearts and butterflies in the tummy, NONE! Ziltch. Nil. Nada. Zip. Zot.
Sunshine's Birthday
The cake. Not chocolate though. =(
Murphy's Law
The day you put off washing your hair is the day you're bound to meet the crush! It's Murphy's Law. =/
I chickened out! Yes. Again.
Misshapes
She walks in beauty,
Like the night of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that's best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes.
-Byron-
BLUE + RED
I absolutely HATE it when someone intrudes on MY personal space. It bothers me. Alot. I feel suffocated. And I dont like that.
I'm thinking of that special someone. Again. Tsk.
I'm BLUE
I know what I want. Well pretty much atleast.
I have no idea how I'm going to pull off the saree act! I don't exactly have one. And even if I did have one, I have no idea how to tie it! And then there's the problem of how I'm gonna walk in it!
=/ I feel like strangling the person who put me up to it!!!
I'm finding something terribly odd. I'm not quite sure how I feel about it though. =/
There's you and there's me. And then there's us.
I like that.
Time: 7:00pm
Still working on my theatre critique.
My sister pissed me off BIG time today. Every argument we have, she has to bring up my bloody A level grades. That's like hitting below the belt. So I screwed up. Big deal. She's doing good now and I'm happy for her. But everytime we get into an argument, you don't see me bringing up the times when she wasn't doing too well. I cannot understand why she has to keep bringing the A levels up. She somehow manages to link every goddamn thing to how I screwed up. It was a one off thing. Let it go already.
And she has the nerve to lecture me about my spending habits! Hell it's my money. I decide how I'll spend it.
Time: 12:01am
Still stuck on Sociology tutorial.
I need a job! Fast!!
My finances are dangerously low. =/ I need to get a job. I can't relief teach at SINDA cause they're pretty much done with classes for the year.
I'm bored. Even with 4 term papers and a test on Wednesday which I haven't finished studying for.
Obayam 2007
That's Haarv's idea of a good pose. Shakes head.
I'M BEAUTIFUL, INTELLIGENT AND I HAVE A PERSONALITY THAT SHINES! =)
Low self esteem days. Hate them. I hate how no one's spared. Even the most gorgeous, intelligent women with GREAT personalities get them. Gah. But somehow I always manage to pull through. Fake the confidence. It works brilliantly.
I admit how sometimes I wonder how I'll ever measure up or be good enough. To anyone for that matter. But wondering's as far as I'm willing to go. On what basis do you decide your worth? And what exactly are you measuring up to? I can never understand how people can mull over their self worth for days. There's hardly anything concrete to gauge their self worth on.
I had a weird dream. I dreamt that a wallaby hugged me! Then it turned evil and ran its SHARP, pointy claw down my back. *Shudders*
Somewhere
I need a nice, LONG holiday. Somewhere quiet. AND exotic. Somewhere with a nice sandy beach and a breathtaking view. With not a single soul in sight. Yes. That's what I'll like.
I'm mighty pleased with myself.
I LOVE MY NAME!
I don't care if I don't look like a Thulasi. I love my name! And I can't imagine being called anything else. And I think my name's pretty hip. So there!
I'm seeing stars. Been staring at the computer screen for so long. ugh. Now I'm seeing spirals. Or something that looks like that. =/
Okay. I have had enough of being civil. I hate it when I am forced to answer to someone. Especially when I don't see the need to. How is my whereabouts of any concern to you? And let me tell you dude NOBODY demands that I answer their call. I decide that. I'll answer if I want to. And if I don't, I hope you're wise enough to know that I am so not interested in talking to you.
Plays, bags and cockroaches
I went to watch JBJ yesterday! I enjoyed it despite it having lots to do with politics. Blah! Politics and me just don't gell. It was really good though. I feel like watching another play soon. =)
Borrowed my sister's brand new bag to carry to the play. You wouldn't believe the fuss she kicked up. She was close to murdering me. Thank god I wasn't home at that time. It's just a bag. I know its NEW. But still? Let it go for god's sake. I let her wear my brand new white shorts and my new blue ones. I don't say anything when she helps herself to all my tees. Looks like I'm the NICE one in the family! Hhmph!
There's a cockroach on the loose! =s
I feel the need to be comforted. And the only person whom I derive comfort from is not quite there anymore. And even if he was around I doubt I would want to run into his arms. I'm not weak. Toughen up then Thulasi.
I'm terribly afraid to put myself out there again. I overestimated my ability to distangle myself from all of this. Fuck.
I feel like I need to hold back, not give it my all, not wait earnestly for calls, not hope, not dream, not wish, not love.
But time and time again, I find myself waiting by my bloody phone. I check whether my ringtone is at its loudest. Place it under my pillow and attempt to sleep. Wake up every now and then in the night just to check my phone. Wonder what happened to him. Probably busy I decide. Squeeze my eyes tight and force myself back to sleep. Doesn't work. I repeatedly tell myself how strong I am. I hold on to anything I can, be it the cards, messages or the shirt I so love to go to bed in.
This was what I was so afraid of.
Space
I'm playing safe. I'm not entertaining anything. I'm drawing lines. Keep your distance. I'm keeping mine.
I MISS ME
I'm yearning for a really good conversation. Maybe that why I particularly cannot stand it when people attempt to make small talk. It annoys me. I mean do you really honestly care whether I have eaten or not?And if I haven't had my dinner, are you gonna bring me some? Obviously not. Quit thinking it's a great conversation starter! Because its NOT!
Met Devi yesterday. We were supposed to be studying but we did everything else but that! =) Thought we could meet Palli since we were near his place. But he was in Brunei. So we ended up entertaining ourselves. That was FUN!!
Skip
Kal and Josh dropped by to visit today! But I only had an hour to spare. We barely had time to catch up. But we managed to agree on one thing- school sucks. Hah. Terribly depressing Kal says. Its amazing how I manage to look so cheery! Most of the days atleast.
I didn't go for lecture again today. Which means that up to date I have skipped 5 lectures! I should have never started skipping. The next time I so much think of skipping lecture, slap me please!
Oh and yes! I spotted the cute guy today. The moment I mentioned that to my friends, all three of them jumped up and ran after him!!! I just sat there with my mouth open. Doesn't look like I'm the one who's interested in him does it? Hahah.
I need to talk to someone now. But it's 11.36 in the morning. Everyone's probably in school. I don't need to rant neither do I feel like wailing. I just need to talk.My sister's at home but she's engrossed in her magazine. Sunshine and Meowy are both sleeping. Both my aunts are cooking. So that just leaves me and my tutorials.What a way to spend a beautiful, sunny morning!
19 and Married
One of my friends is getting married. She's 19. It gets worse. To her uncle who's 40. It gets even worse. Her mother forced her into it. I didn't think such things would still be happening. At least not now and definitely not in Singapore. Imagine waking up every morning and seeing your uncle's face. Ugh. The thought of it makes me sick. Very sick. I don't get it. Why should she marry him? 19's not the age to get hitched and to someone who's more than 20 years older than her!! Will they even have anything in common? There's alot of things that they're not going to see eye to eye on. Wouldn't she want to find her own husband? Someone that she likes or something. I dunno. This just doesn't make sense to me at all.
I'm feeling extremely uncomfortable about something that has happened recently. =\ It just doesn't feel quite right now.
School
I have a pile of reading waiting for me at home but I just had to go shopping! I still haven't found a pair of shoes that I like!!!
Finally got to meet all my classmates. Pretty nice people. Everyone has problems pronouncing my name. As usual! It's always thu- what? haha. So I say call me Thuts. It's alot easier. And then I get REALLY weird looks from ALL of them!! HAHAHAH!
I HATE THURSDAYS!!!
I CANNOT last from 9- 6!!! What the hell was I thinking! At 3, I start feeling sleepy! At 4, I'm started to blabber. At 5, I feel like I'm floating. At 6, I'm seeing stars. I can't really rememeber what happened after that. haha!
I felt like skipping today's lecture but once I start I'll never stop!!
Swamped
I need to head down to town sometime this week. There's lots of stuff I have to pick up!!! But I just can't find the time. Or the energy. I need to visit the doctor, finish up TONS of readings and then pick up a pair of shoes today. They better have the ones I want!
I'm crushed. Beyond crushed actually. But I'm gonna make sure I'm gonna be fine. It's not that difficult. This has practically become my new mantra.
But the moment I think that I'm probably never going to know what's going in your life or how you're doing, I can't help but let the tears flow. Trust me, I swear I didn't know I had the capacity to be this emotional. It has always been whatever laa dee da. But this time its different.
I guess you just mean too much to me. Way too much. Oh well. I guess I'm free to bawl now. Get over things. Scream at how things are so unfair. I'm gonna take my time. But I sure wish that all this will just tide by. I love you still. Always will.
I have to thank Emiko for making things alot easier for me.
I feel miserable. So much for acting tough. There's hardly anyone to talk to either, everyone's so busy. Sigh. Suck it up Thulasi.
Bus Rides
I hate it when someone seats beside me in the bus and automatically goes to sleep. I have to practically shake the guy when my stop's nearing!! And sometimes even then they will not budge. Geesh.
Oh and sometimes the guy's practically lying on my shoulder. I have to sit extremely close to the window. It's like i'm plastered to it or something.
Pick up the pieces
I can never understand why people commit suicide. I personally don't see it as the solution to any problem let alone the ideal solution. Either yesterday or the day before, this guy I knew( though not personally) committed suicide. I don't know the exact details but I heard he did it because his girlfriend jilted him. Everyone needs to know that your life does not necessary mean that its YOUR life. It does not mean that you hold the right to it neither does it mean that you can decide when you would like to take your life. I think many a times we forget about how interconnected our lives have become with the lives of others. Everything we do affect others in some way or another. Commiting sucide ends your pain, sure. But what about the people you leave behind? Who's going to help them deal with their pain and their loss. Commiting sucide is being selfish. I have no idea what people aim to acheive out of doing it. I have no idea why he did it. Was he hoping his girlfriend will regret her decision? But even then what's the point? Nothing can be done with him gone. The girl's going to bear this immense amount of guilt and it'll probably be with her all her life. It's not her fault yes. But the guilt's ineveitable. Would someone want to do this to the person they love? And what about his family? So what if some girl ditches you, there's a gazillion others. There's no way your family can replace you. If not for yourself, think of the people whom you love. Don't put them through this.
Spring Cleaning
I'm doing spring cleaning and I think I have enough magazines to start a shop. I have tons and tons of them. I'll probably give most of them away and keep the ones I really need. There's lots of kids outside my house now rummaging through my precious books. I wanted to keep them all. But my mum thinks I'm way too old for Enid Blyton!
And I have ALOT of weird books. 6 minutes a day to perfect spelling. Gossips and the Singaporean woman and Everything a young man should know?!! Geesh. Who's even reading any of this stuff.
I'm finding it difficult to even consider. I just can't. Contrary to what everyone thinks. Hah.
I may be a bimbo
I was toying with the idea of majoring in Political Science but now I think not. Geesh in lecture I feel like a total bimbo. I'm hearing stuff about I have never heard of in my entire life. That's still relatively okay. But imagine sitting there and going, " THAT'S A COUNTRY?! I didn't know that. "I hope no one heard me say that! I know nuts about politics or current affairs!!! Time to read up. LOTS!!
I went shopping today with Devi!! I think we ate too much. And then I ran to my crush. What's the chance of that happening?! =) I wanted to strangle Devi. She had to keep turning around and craning her neck at an impossible angle!! I was trying to hide behind my ice cream. Didn't help that I had to be facing him. Aargh!!!
I have been having the weirdest dreams ever! First it was about a big, black lizard, then about this group of guys I haven't hung out with in ages and today I dreamt that I was in labour!!
I meet someone. Kinda think he's ACTUALLY quite nice. I'm thinking finally a nice guy who just wants to be nothing more than friends. ( Who was I kidding?) And then.. Let's just say he turns out to be a little bit of a weirdo.
And then there's my other friend who pulls the disappearing act on me. Yet again. I don't get it. I haven't said or done anything that may have offended him!
School's started. It's not wonderful but its not too bad either. I'll get used to it. yup.
My phone's spoilt! Yet again. My sister's convinced I'm jinxed!! Every phone I touch spoils somehow. I think its just a matter of coincidence.
I feel really frustrated!! Every single thing bugs me from my sister to some idiot to the state of my hair. I should have gone out today instead of staying home. But going out has another set of problems that I refuse to think about now. Aargh. I'm gonna sleep til 7!
Log Books and Animal Rescues
I found the dreaded log book I had to bring to school every day in secondary school! The moment I finished school, I had to get my teacher to sign the damn book. And I had to be home within 15 minutes from the time the book was signed. And that's not all. Every week I had to let the OM check the cursed book. The huniliating part was getting my teachers to sign the book in front of everyone else. And the questions that followed that! Gosh! I'm gonna burn that book now!!! Right this very instant!
Yesterday, a tiny dog fell into the canal outside my house. I think something ought to be done about the railings surrounding the canal. Animals keep falling in every two weeks or so. Animal rescues are emotionally draining. Especially when you see the little thing struggling in the water and there isn't much you can do about it. The Civil Defense took some time to get there. What's the point of sending 10 officers after the poor dog is out of the water?! They did the same darn thing with the cat. They came only after it drowned. Thank God for the man from China. He just took off his shirt and jumped in! Hurray for him!!
Bids
I hate bidding for modules!! I absolutely loathe it. I'm at my nephew's house doing the bloody bidding. The cartoon in the background and him asking me which chicken rice is better is adding to my stress!!! I can't think about chicken rice now. But I'm a little hungry though.
Now he's giving advice on which module to take! Hahah! He thinks I should take health education. It's easy apparently. Hahah. Pity there's no such module. But I'm not gonna tell him that. I can't really explain this whole system to him now. Especially since I don't really get it myself.
He's wants me to check how many people there are in the world now!! Aargh. I should have stayed home. But this is the closest I'll get to hanging out with a child. Damn the bids man. I cant fully concentrate on having fun with him.
I like all things blond!!
I'm actually kinda getting used to school. Probably even liking it. But I'm not gonna admit that to anyone anytime soon. Or wait... Did I just do that?
I'm not going to sentosa tomorrow! I don't care if there are gonna be blond surfer dudes there. I dunno where my OG got the impression that I like blond surfer dudes!! Geesh! Must have been the bus incident! Hahah. I'm not going into details about the bus incident. Too embarassing.
I saw this really cute, little blond boy during Flag Day today. Pity I couldn't understand a single thing that he was trying to say. Oh but he dropped some coins into my tin can! =)
ME
No expectations= No disappointments. That's apparently the equation. Quite clear cut. I kinda expected that you weren't gonna come back. I'm just a little disappointed. Not devastated though. So do I detect a flaw in the equation somewhere? I guess I have learnt to let things out of my control be the way they are. I can't do much. What's the point of feeling bummed over it? I'm gonna go out later and enjoy myself. I still wish you were here though.
I know I should give you a chance. But at the moment I want to be the one to make myself happy. I want to be the one to wipe away my own tears. I don't want to depend on anyone. And I certainly don't want to depend on you to see me through this. I need to sort out the mess in my life alone.
Rush
I think I'm falling out with everything familiar. It's a little unsettling. I'm talking to people I usually wouldn't talk to. Doing things that I normally wouldn't be caught doing. I haven't been anywhere near familarity until yesterday when I met Kuga and Xin Jie after school. Gosh I was so happy to see them! It's not like I don't see familiar faces in school. I do. I practically know atleast 1 in 3 people from primary school, secondary school, jc, tution, first three months and goodness knows where else. It's funny how my primary school friends can still recognise me!
I haven't had much time to do much since school started. It's one thing after the next. But I'm actually enjoying the rush. Reminds me a little of secondary school where i finished school late, rush to science practicals, then to band practice and then home to finish up my work. There just wasn't any time for anything else. I kinda liked that. It left me no time to worry about anything.
