Over and done with

I have a couple of things on my mind. The first being the bloody exams of course. Which I haven't really studied for! Which would mean that I'm pretty screwed!
And then there's my grandmother who's worrying the hell out of me. I dont think you can call what she's suffering from dementia or suggest that she's senile. I dont quite know what's wrong with her actually. We're bringing her to the doctor tomorrow. Hopefully that enlightens us all on what's going on. It pains me to see her looking so terribly distressed and frustrated. I don't know how to help her either. How exactly am I to find her the house that isn't there or show her the path that doesn't exist?
I love my grandmother. I think she's the only one who actually understands me completely (though we may have some issues with language at times). She reads me like a book. No really. She knows when I'm down. All the time. And this is when I don't show any visible signs of feeling down. She's my source of comfort. I'm just terribly afraid at the moment.
I think I'm gonna stick to being nonchalent. It suits me best. Emotions and getting myself emotionally tangled in some mess just doesn't work for me. I like my heart and brain in whole.