If I had the chance

It's Diwali. I'm supposed to be stuffing myself with food. But for some reason I feel BLUE.
I don't understand how I managed to overlook what you wanted. I guess I was too caught up with worrying about what I wanted. As usual. It's always about me isn't it? I don't even bother thinking about what others want. Yes I am pretty much spoiled. And no I'm not proud of it.
I really don't know why I try so hard to make peace with you. Maybe its because you matter. Even though I have always refused to acknowledge that. Oh well.
Spell things out for me. Clearly if you don't mind. I really have no idea what you want from me.

Three separate issues. 1 muddled up Thulasi. And lots of food.