Weird stuff I came across recently

Lingerie should always be red, because it incites the appetite. Its scientifically proven. (Who cares. Im not wearing any red lingerie. They remind me of the old tarts)

Parachuting kittens off a bridge is someone's idea of fun. ( What's the number for the SPCA
again. I hate people who play with animals- in the sadistic sense of course)

Being middle- class is beautiful. ( More money would be beautiful)

An old superstition- if you sewed on a Sunday when you were pregnant, your child was sure to be an idiot. ( That explains alot of things with me)

"She's really honest. You should see her strip"(stripping= being honest. Wow. That's new)

Walk through a fence and you'll miscarry ( And get your clothes torn. Not in a million years)

"Get pretty nails to scratch your boyfriend's back"(No way am I letting that manicure go to waste)

Love is weakness. ( I dont think it is. Right? It makes you feel vulnerable but its definitely not a weakness. It takes courage to love someone)