Random nothings

1) I'm beyond pissed. Especially when I had to wait three and a half hours (Yes THREE AND A HALF HOURS) for an ass who decides a minute before I meet him that he's actually feeling kinda tired. Grrrr.. I could have used that time to sleep! THREE AND A HALF HOURS of sleep would have done me good! Oh and did I mention that meeting up was his idea in the first place.
2) I swore 11 times today. That's a record for me. Since I hardly swear much.
3) My hair is destined to remain the way it is- Boring.
4) I spent an hour in Vivo and 45 Minutes in Tekka. All alone. Yea I know I am a loser.
5) I went to school for a mere half an hour.

Testing 1-2-3

I miss the kiddies at the centre. I miss knowing what its like to have sisters- Sisters whom I can share the most intimate details of my life with. I miss seeing home as something more than a lodge. I miss my secret cupboard space. I miss my ugly BUT comfortable blue jeans. I miss playing the piano. I miss my labels. I miss trying. I miss me. Yea. I miss me.

I wanna run away!

Retail therapy didn't work. Neither did the chocolates. Nor the sleep. Gah. I hate school! I'm considering running away and joining the circus!
RIP Heath Ledger.

I fell

Expectations set you up for the biggest fall ever. And its difficult to walk away from that fall unscathed. Very difficult. But it is equally diffcult to declare that you have no expectations whatsoever. Cause in truth, everyone has expectations. Be it conscious or unconscious. I am not doing the right thing am I?

Everything about nothing

School starts on Monday.
I had a fall out with my sister.
And to top it all off, I am STILL very much confused.

I am not being fair. Yes I know. And I'm not particularly comfortable with that. Everyone deserves a chance. But I don't want to take that chance. I don't want to take any more chances actually.

Joy Anandha

She makes me REALLY happy!

A walk to remember

I can turn and run the other direction right now. But I'm not going to. I am scared. Sure. But then again who isn't?

I need some pushing!

I should run. Right about now actually. But my butt's glued to the couch. I can't move. Or rather I don't want to. I'm fine with being pudgy! I think. Atleast til I realise how flabby my arms are. Gah.

Phenomenal Woman

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies
I’m not cute or built to suit a model’s fashion size
But when I start to tell them
They think I’m telling lies.
I say
It’s in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips
The stride of my steps
The curl of my lips.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That’s me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please
And to a man
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees
Then they swarm around me
A hive of honey bees.
I say
It’s the fire in my eyes
And the flash of my teeth
The swing of my waist
And the joy in my feet.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That’s me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me
They try so much
But they can’t touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can’t see.
I say
It’s in the arch of my back
The sun of my smile
The ride of my breasts
The grace of my style.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That’s me.

Now you understand
Just why my head’s not bowed
I don’t shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say
It’s in the click of my heels
The bend of my hair
The palm of my hand
The need for my care.
‘Cause I’m a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That’s me.

Maya Angelou

I just love this piece! Beautiful ain't it?

All over again

And so 2007 is about to come to an end. I must say the year passed by pretty fast. Yet 2007 has been one of my more eventful years.
I discovered aspects of myself that I never knew about.
I started school.
I realised how much I love children.
I worked for the first time in my life.
I learnt about relationships- how they work, how I wanted them to work and how they actually work.
I faced my deepest fears head-on.
Star gazing by the beach was an amazing experience.
I learnt to accept things as they were.
I cried lots.
I learnt to be grateful.
I lied. And I'm not exactly proud of that.
I learnt to let things go.
Sunshine is now hot-dog.
I learnt to forgive.
I opened up to someone I hardly knew. That still surprises me.
I learnt to believe in myself.
Spirit week was embarassing yet memorable. I love my red soccer socks. Now all I need is another chance to wear it!
I changed my mind a gazillion times.
I considered getting a piercing and a tattoo.
Meowy became an unofficial part of our family.
I made tons of new friends.
I did something I usually would have never considered doing.

Well I guess that pretty much sums up 2007. It has been a year of bittersweet moments. Yes a year of my bittersweet moments. I can't wait for 2008! An entire new year. 365 more days of bittersweet experiences. I don't usually believe in new year resolutions. But for 2008 I hope I learn to be a better person.

Happy New Year everybody!

Blood's thicker than water huh?

I hate extended family gatherings. I hate having to sit in one corner with a plastic smile plastered on my face. Not that I am the only one doing the whole plastic act. I hate not being able to be myself. I hate having to associate with people I don't have a single thing in common with. I hate having to restrain myself from saying the wrong things. I hate how everything I say or do is being judged. The only reason we're family is because we don't have much of a choice. Other than that, there's nothing binding us. Nothing at all.

I miss you dude. Sigh. Funny how I still think of you after all these years. Oh well. I just hope all is well with you. Much love my dear friend.

Rudolph the red nose reindeer

I'm pretty sure I can pass off as Rudolph now with all the trauma my poor nose has gone through. Days before Christmas and I have to fall sick!! The only good thing that has come out of falling ill is not being able to go to Jb! =)

Yesterday's magic show was brilliant. It was meant for the kids but I think I was the one who was in awe half the time!

Merry Christmas!

=/

I can't possibly be having a mid-life crisis now can I? Nah. I think terming it my quarter life- crisis woud be more appropriate. Yes that's it! I'm having a quarter-life crisis. Gah.
You know I would really like to talk to a stranger right about now. Don't ask. We'll just dismiss it as being part of my quarter-life crisis.

Haarveen's Birthday!


And so yes, Haarveen's finally 18! Finally.







Haarveen can never keep her eyes open for long. I really don't know why!




The yummy tapas

Mum and Dad.

I just realised! Keshini's missing!

I should be shot!

Haarveen's right. I should be shot dead. Hitler stlyle.
And here's why. More reasons to add to the already never ending list.
1) Today, while walking through town, I got really irritated with the old woman in front of me who was walking at an excruciating slow pace. I should be shot yes? She was an OLD woman who probably had trouble walking.
2) I am self-centered.
3) I am a bad sister. Just ask Keshini. She'll agree on that.
There's more but I'll stop here. I shouldn't give Haarveen more reasons to prove her point!

Boundaries don't keep other people out. They fence you in. Life is messy. That's how we are made. And so you can waste your life drawing lines or you can live your life crossing them.
Meredith Grey
Grey's Anatomy

I feel like I have wasted a hell lot of time keeping people out. I have missed out on so much with all the lines that I have drawn. I don't think I'll ever know what's it like to have a best friend- the kind that every other person has (not my definition of one). I don't think I have ever ventured into my intimate thoughts with anyone. I don't think I'll know what it is like to be downright honest with what I feel or think. I'm terribly afraid of people being up close. I don't quite know why. I guess I just feel safer that way.

I surrender!

It's official- I am a goner. And you know what? I give up! =)

All Love

I feel like Aunt Agony. No really. Funny how I can never sort out my own issues then. I'm not sure if I would like to take the risk and put myself out there again. And about my initial plan to keep my distance? Well, let's just say that's not going too well. Gah. And it doesn't help that there's something else bugging me on top of all this. I don't wanna have to compromise on anything and I feel like I cannot keep up with any of this anymore. I'm gonna do the usual. One thing at a time. We'll see. Or maybe not.

I met Rabeeah on Tuesday after AGES. Lots of love, shopping and gossip! =)

The Stress Reduction Kit!




Haarveen making FULL use of the kit!

I hate them all, sun-kissed or not!

Lately, I have developed this strong dislike towards raisins! And for some strange reason I have been seeing raisins just about everywhere. Just two days ago, the kid beside me was munching on raisins. Goodness knows how he managed to stuff the entire handful of that shrivelled up grapes into his mouth. Yesterday, I found raisins in my chocolate cake! Who in the right mind puts raisins in chocolate cakes?! And today I found raisins in my bread (I somehow managed to overlook the fact that it was a raisin loaf BUT that's besides the point) and the only chocolate bar around had raisins in it!

Men in Black