My precious little joys


Work's been tiring me out! I have some photos of my kids here. Dear old Pops was kind enough to be my photographer!


Joy and Micole- The Best Friends

My dear little joy. She’s the reason I drag myself out of bed everyday. I love her to bits! Im really gonna miss her when I leave.

Tomi Oliver!! My hyperactive darling who’s always trying to hide in the cardboard box. Why? I have no idea. He’s away in Palestine at the moment and I miss him already!

I feel like I'm part of a jigsaw puzzle- The piece that just will not fit no matter how hard you try. I know I'll never fit in. So someone explain to me please.Why am I even bothering?

I just finished preparing the Science worksheets for my Sinda students. Tough work there!
The friendship I have with a certain someone is beginning to feel like a friendship of convenience. And I think he's the only one who's finding it convenient. Calling me when he needs something has become somewhat of a reflex action for him. He only calls me when he needs help with his bloody projects or when he needs someone to go out with or when he loses his way. I seriously have nothing against helping him. Not even when I have to change my plans to accommodate his. It's just that when I need to tell him something, he goes MIA or makes some dumb, insensitive joke about it. And this happens all the time!

Sometimes, I dont have the heart to scold my kids. Especially when they turn on their charm. Little Joshua irrtated me to the max yesterday and I REALLY felt like strangling him. But obviously I couldnt do that. So I said, '' JOSHUA KONG, YOU MAKE ME REALLY ANGRY!!" To which he replied, " And you make me very happy Miss Ram".

I have puke all over me and I am not the least bit disgusted. It smells of something I cannot quite make out. =)
I am planning to keep myself really busy with all sorts of activities so I won’t really have the time to think about unnecessary stuff. I have everything covered except the time between when my head touches my pillow until the time I fall asleep. I feel horribly miserable during that dark, lonely, depressing hour.
University choices are driving me insane. I am not really sure what I want to do.

I'll be lying if I said that I am not disappointed with my grades. I am very much disappointed. But for once I didn't feel like I should have done things this way or that way. My grades may not be fantastic but I have come a long way and I am proud of that. Pulling myself out the dumps wasn't the least bit easy but I managed it. But that definitely would not have been possible without the help of some very special people. Thank you for believing in me! And now, finally some closure.

I'm disturbed. What's the chances of it happening? All I did was pass a casual remark. Hell I make casual remarks all the time. And most of the time nothing ever happens. But yesterday everything happened right on cue!
Did I mention that the parents at my centre are driving me insane! Some mother insists that I HAVE to clean her daughter's bottom with the wipes that she so graciously provided, another looks at me and asks for the teacher ( I AM the teacher damn it) and there's one particularly irritating mother who feels that her daughter's in prison!

Okay so Valentine's Day wasn't all that bad. Much better than I had expected. It was fabulous actually! I didn't see anyone who was particularly love struck and it wasn't that crowded. But I still do think Valentine's Day is a tad bit overrated.
The results are going to be out soon. My mother goes on about how it's no big deal even if I flunk the A's. But to me it is a BIG deal. I'm afraid of failing. I'm not talking about those little setbacks, small class tests or stuff like that. Major failures get to me. After I failed my grade five piano practical, I completely stopped learning the piano. It's a shame actually. I was quite good at it. I have absolutely no idea how I screwed up. But after that I was pretty sure I never ever wanted to take piano lessons again. I'm just so afraid it's going to be the same if I mess my A's up.
I'm lost.

For some reason I always feel sad on Valentine's Day. It's not because I don't have a date or anything like that. It's just one of those unexplainable things I guess. I hate going out on Valentine's Day by the way. I feel like just to walk through town; I have to battle a whole bunch of love sick couples. Ugh.
Happy Valentine's Day!

Gosh! I feel so darn stupid for falling for your sob story. I let my guard down once and people take advantage of it. Ugh. I'm disgusted. With myself.
Oh and im heartbroken, devastated and goodness knows what else. The love of my life- Wentworth Miller is gay! Or so people claim. Please tell me its not true!
And is finding a cookie jar that darn difficult???

It's weird how things turn out. What you expect never happens and what you were positive will NEVER EVER EVER happen, happens. I had nothing to lose and I secretly thought I had nothing to gain as well.Boy, wasn't I wrong! I am just glad I did what I did. I have never been happier.

I hate routines! And I am finding it difficult trying to fall into this one. I like order and all but I am finding this is a bit too much. School was supposed to be somewhat a routine but strangely I didn't feel that way at all. Things were fine the first few weeks but now I am in need of a change. A desperate change. I mean my job's pretty cool and stuff but I guess there's just so much more I want and need to see.
I forgive and forget too easily? I don't know about the forgiving part but I don't think I forget that easily. I haven't forgotten any particularly significant incident. I don't forget. I just don't talk about it. I don't see the need to.

I'm the biggest worrywart ever. Those sleepless nights are here to stay.

Why do I get so upset over stupid and yes even insignificant things? Honestly, I don't care who you're going out with or who you're attached to. I think im just a little upset over the fact that you lied. But im way upset over something else. And I you know damn well what it is. Sigh. Im way over it now.
Every time, I think of the damn A level results, I get this really nauseous feeling. Sigh. I don't want to retake the A's again. I will just die! I think it's the cruelest form of torture ever. Please God, have some mercy!

It's all about taking chances huh? What happens if you are wrong? Or better still, how would you ever know if you are right?
Im dead bored.

Its no game but its starting to sound like one.

I love my job! Everyday's a surprise- from the brilliantly engineered lies as to who punched who to the random hugs and kisses. I actually feel loved by total strangers. It's an amazing feeling. I love being around them. They aren't pretentious; they don't judge you and they love you for who you are. Of course there are the downsides to the job as well. It pains me to see the autistic kids struggle. Half the time I feel like running over to hug them, assure them that things are going be okay. The sad truth- life will always be more of a struggle for them than it is for us.

I love you.

Im gonna play safe and keep my distance. Why get my little head all muddled up yet again? I dont need this and neither do you. So its settled! Besties we shall not be!

2007. Finally. A whole new beginning. No more lugging around emotional baggage- kicked it all right out of the door. No more hanging onto friends who dont give a shit about me. No more feeing sorry for myself. No more hiding behind lies made up by yours truly.
No more pretending or rather trying to pretend im someone else- someone with a nice picture perfect life.
Ahh.. Im liking the new year already. I feel so much lighter and so much happier!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!

This too will pass, wont it?

It sure does not feel like Christmas!

I hate family politics. Call yourselves family when everybody's constantly bitching about the other?! Ha! I want no part of this. Leave me out. Im pretty contented being by myself.