=/

Okay so maybe I kinda overreacted. But that's nothing out of the ordinary for me. My name's pretty much synonymous with the dramatic.

The heart of the matter

'The first time I ever saw Becky Bloomwood...' He pauses, a tiny smile on his lips. 'She was asking a bank marketing department why they didnt produce a cheque-book in different colours.'
'The next year they did produce chequebooks covers in different colours. Becky's instincts match no one else's. Becky has ideas no one else has. Her mind goes to places no one else's does. And sometimes I'm lucky enough to go along with her.' Luke's eyes meet mine, soft and warm. 'Yes she shops. Yes she does crazy things. But she makes me laugh. She makes me enjoy life. And I love her more than anything else in this world.'

Sophie Kinsella

I want to be able to do that someday.

Band-aids cover the bullet hole

I feel all trampled over. Betrayed even. Hah. Oh well. I should have seen it coming. So whatever.
I think I more or less know what I am going to do. And since its about my fucking happiness here, I don't see the need to provide any explanations whatsoever for my actions. To anyone for that matter.
I am hurt. But I'll get over it.

Blues for sister someone

We're dying aren't we now? Raking up the past was never a good idea. It forces you to question the basis of what we shared. There wasn't much was there? Strangely, I always thought there was. Something that no one else shared.

....

This too will pass yes?

Deterioration of the Fight or Flight response

I don't know myself inside out. I don't know what I want. I don't know what I want to do in the future. Hell I don't even know what my favourite colour is. But what I do know is that I know myself way better than you do. So please quit thinking that you know me inside out. Cause frankly you don't. Don't try to figure me out. Don't try to contextualize my every action or every word that I utter. I cannot stress how much that annoys me.

The BIG 2-0

Turning 20 has been nothing short of amazing! I'm desperately hoping this year's gonna be a lot better. I need it to be better.

Break on through

I had the most productive day ever. *rolls eyes*
Sometimes I wonder why I even bother going to school!
The day started off with Cnm tutorial. During which I completely zonked out. C'mon it was 10 am! I had no idea what everyone was rambling on and on about!
Skipped Perfumes and Cosmetics. As usual. What's new?
Had a conversation with Joyce about herself. Her exact words were, "I think we should talk about me!" And so we did.
Explained to Sam about my closet skank status. Oh wait, I'm in the open now!
Contemplated marrying a fishmonger. For some weird reason I thought it'll be cool to be a fishmonger's wife!
Debated quite a bit on what I should major in. Yes I still have no clue.
Went for Malay lecture. Had another mini picnic.
Waltzed off to Vivo. Joyce and I were searching for a blue eyeliner. We ended up doing a little grocery shopping as well. I bought cereals! =)
I got home and slept for a good 2 hours. I kinda woke up at 9 actually. But I simply refused to get up then. I actually thought I had school. So I pretended to oversleep. (It works. All the time!) I somehow managed to overlook the fact that it was 9pm! And besides I don't even have school on Fridays! So I have no idea what exactly I was trying to do! Talk about being disorientated. Geesh.



I'm turning 20. I'm ageing. I'm gonna get all wrinkly and droopy in no time! =(


Okay. The truth is, I don't like any of this. Not one bit.

Into you like a train

Some of the best things in life are total mistakes. Trust me if I could do it all over again, I wouldn't wanna change anything. Not one bit at all. I may not like who I have become or agree with what I am doing right now. But there's something I have taken away from this mess. And in due time, I hope I get my act together. Preferably sooner.

The BIG 2-0's approaching! UGH.

=]

Nutella=cellulite
Cheese=muffin top
Cheese crackers (I had 17 of them mind you)= 1 fat but HAPPY
thuls

Funny how I still don't get it huh!

The self-destruct button

If only anyone knew how fucking difficult this is. I mean really. Nothing bright and sunny is gonna come out of this. I have a gazillion obligations, a good number of promises that I cannot and will not break and a hell lot of personal issues of my own to sort out. I don't have time to think of what I want let alone of what I'm doing. I'm getting scared. I don't want to mess up.

Straits Kitchen

=((((((

Breathe Thuls breathe.

From a whisper to a scream

I want to do this by myself. Alone. And contrary to what everyone thinks, I can handle this. I want to do it my way. And I want to make sure it's the right way. So I pray thee, let me. Let me handle this my way.

She keeps me grounded



a dark silhouette against a bright background says:
this is as babies
a dark silhouette against a bright background says:
guess who's who
thuls says:
you're the brown one! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

a dark silhouette against a bright background says:
to now
a dark silhouette against a bright background says:
hehe yea im zee brown one
thuls says:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
thuls says:
Love the peektures!
a dark silhouette against a bright background says:
hahahah
a dark silhouette against a bright background says:
merci beacoup
thuls says:
and I LOVE YOU
a dark silhouette against a bright background says:
hehe i do too(:

The other side of this life :)

Scars and Souvenirs

It feels like the scab on my knee. I'm always picking at it when I know I shouldn't be doing so. Scars never go away. They serve as a reminder-of what you should not have done. Or rather what you should have done. But I love how I'm always left with a personalised souvenir. My very own souvenir to myself.
Hamlet wasn't the only one with the dilemma. Gah.

Wasted

Standing at the back door
She tried to make it fast
One tear hit the hard wood
It fell like broken glass
She said sometimes love slips away
And you just can't get it back
Let's face it

For one split second
She almost turned around
But that would be like pouring rain drops
Back into a cloud
So she took another step and said
I see the way out and I'm gonna take it

I don't wanna spend my life jaded
Waiting to wake up one day and find
That I've let all these years go by
Wasted

Another glass of whisky but it still don't kill the pain
So he stumbles to the sink and pours it down the drain
He says it's time to be a man and stop living for yesterday
Gotta face it.

Cause I don't wanna spend my life jaded
Waiting to wake up one day and find
That I've let all these years go by
Wasted

Oh I don't wanna keep on wishing, missing
The still of the morning, the color of the night
I ain't spending no more time
Wasted

She kept drivin along
Till the moon and the sun were floating side-by-side
He looked in the mirror and his eyes were clear
For the first time in a while

Hey, yeah,
Oh, I don't wanna spend my life jaded
Waiting to wake up one day and find
That I've let all these years go by
Wasted

Oh I don't wanna keep on wishing, missing
The still of the morning, the color of the night
I ain't spending no more time
Wasted

Oh, I don't wanna spend my life jaded
Waiting to wake up one day and find
That I've let all these years go by
Wasted

Yeah, yeah
Oh I don't wanna keep on wishing, missing
The still of the morning, the color of the night
I ain't spending no more time
Wasted

Wasted
Carrie Underwoods.

This is what I feel like now- wasted.

When all fails.. GROW A BOYFRIEND!!


Meet Chace Mooki!

He's perfect. Well almost. Blue's not exactly his best colour and I'm not exactly crazy about his groovy blue hair-do. But I'll make do! I mean c'mon right? The guy NEVER argues! What's a little blue hair!

Didn't we almost have it all?

I'll like to think I almost had everything. I don't know what's going on with me anymore. I really don't.